Starting over

Just when you think you've figured things out.....surprise!
I thought I'd finally figured out what I was going to do with the next so many years. I studied long and hard to pass the real estate exam and get my license. Yay for me. Times were getting tight and there were no jobs to be found. Schools were cutting back on budgets and that left me without a chance to find an art teaching job again. Sooo...figured with real estate I could simply create my own job.
Well...it's not really all it's cracked up to be. I've been with my office for the better part of a year now and it has actually cost me more money than I've made. Wait! I haven't even made any yet!!
I've paid for school, my license, mls dues, board of realtor dues, business cards, signs, etc...etc...etc
Oh...and did I mention that I'm sooo unhappy doing this??
In all this time I've now got one sale that is due to finish up in two weeks.
At the same time, sitting on my dining room table is a bill for the next year of dues for the board of realtors that is for just under $600.
It was looking at this bill, knowing how much I didn't even like what I was doing, and knowing I haven't even made a dime yet and I've already got to dish out more, that made me have to face it.....this isn't what I got into this for.
I wanted to help the household. So far, all I've created for it is debt.
I've been extremely unhappy in the business....so what in the world was keeping me in it???
Fear of failure!!! Yep...pure and simple.
It has taken a lot of soul searching to finally decide that this is it. I'm not happy, don't enjoy what I'm doing, and not even making anything while trying. Crumby combination.
I've been given a ton of support from those who know me...and for that, I appreciate every word. It's hard to try something new to begin with...and even harder to say that you just can't make it work.
Soo...I'm moving on. I've decided that I've got to invest more time and energy into my artwork and I've also taken a part time job as a merchandise rep for Hallmark. Certainly not lots of money in it....but I'm already ahead of the game.
Thank you to everyone who has helped me to look at myself and realize that life is too short to be so unhappy. I haven't "failed". I've tried something new and have learned from it. I'm sure I'll take away lessons to use elsewhere.